


I was Never Magnificent

by flimsycoats



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Post-Timeskip, Reader Insert, Reader is Not My Unit | Byleth, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:02:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24075643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flimsycoats/pseuds/flimsycoats
Summary: "As close as friends could be, but never as close as lovers should—still, never once did you complain, and never once did you ask him for anything more than he can give; you took all that he had to offer, even if it was just fighting alongside him to achieve his ambitions, swearing your loyalty to him and him only, or allowing him to weep and lie his head atop your chest for hours on end on the days he dwelled deeply on his mistakes and shortcomings as an heir and as a leader."
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 116





	I was Never Magnificent

_Breathtaking._

He truly was.

Upon first seeing Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, that was the first word you had uttered out to him. The two of you were children, still. Embarrassed, you were; but he never teased you for it. He flashed you a smile and thanked you in return, reintroducing himself once more. He was easy to talk to. You could derive that much after your first meeting. Weeks passed, and you found yourself suddenly accustomed to his presence, his warmth cloaked around you in a way that made you come back to him time and time again. Even though he never spoke of it, you were certain he felt the same way; it was evident with how his embraces tightened each time.

The last time you saw Dimitri, however, was far different from your awkward first encounter. The both of you were mere students in the Officers Academy at Garreg Mach Monastery—naive and starry-eyed, filled with hopelessly hopeful dreams to achieve; dreams that both of you decided to fulfill together one mistful night under the Blue Sea moon years ago. As close as friends could be, but never as close as lovers should—still, never once did you complain, and never once did you ask him for anything more than he can give; you took all that he had to offer, even if it was just fighting alongside him to achieve his ambitions, swearing your loyalty to him and him only, or allowing him to weep and lie his head atop your chest for hours on end on the days he dwelled deeply on his mistakes and shortcomings as an heir and as a leader.

Dedicated. Level-headed. Strong and wise, altogether—traits that a prince should possess. Somehow, Dimitri made it all look easy, gracefully striking down enemies that dared tarnish his name and his flawless record; but even as he did so, you couldn't help but feel troubled with how his eyes grew more dull with each passing day, with each passing battle. Barely existing—contrasting the resolve that swerved unsteadily within his system.

Yet, still, _breathtaking_ all the same, even as he sat sullenly at one corner inside the ruins of the monastery, five years after the Imperial army attacked.

 _Breathtaking,_ as he should be; he truly, truly was.

Your footsteps echo throughout the enclosed halls, inching closer to the male. The once brightly lit monastery now had little to no source of light, making it harder for you to navigate through the floor. But, you trudge on, albeit you clutched your heart out of fear, you didn't care. There was no one else there to jest about it, anyway.

You trudge on, and on, and on. Until you were finally in front of Dimitri.

“You're..” It took you nearly everything to prevent yourself from crying. You choke on your words, subconsciously taking a step back out of disbelief. “You're actually here,”

He was here. He was here. He was..

Near. So, so near; you were able to touch him, press him close to your beating heart, close enough to feel his breath on your skin; close enough to be able to draw circles on his back to assure him that everything would be all right in the end—one way or another.

“Why..” Although his voice was low, it was loud enough to snap you out of your trance, swallowing the lump that recently formed in your throat as soon as you straighten yourself out. Dimitri hoists himself up with the help of his lance, carefully regaining his balance. Once he was up and standing, he towered over you. His eyes mirrored the darkness inside the monastery; sending cold shivers down your spine.

You suck in a sharp breath, waiting for him to speak.

“Why are you here?” He grits out begrudgingly, taking a step closer to you. Your eyes soften upon instinct, wanting to leap into his arms and hold him tight, because you were here now, and you weren't going away again.

“You're..” The ends of your sentence never came—you tried to muster enough courage to speak, but no sound escaped your lips, too bewildered at the sight of Dimitri. His eyebrows knit together, turning away from you as he soon walks past you.

You instinctively reach out the hem of his clothes, tugging on it gently to prevent him from slipping away from your grasp.

“Please don't go.” You cry out silently. You direct your focus onto the cemented ground, your grip tightening ever so slightly. “Dimitri, please. Just..”

“Just what?” He cuts you off, facing you once more. A mix of anguish and frustration clouds his expression; the five years filled with nothing but pain becoming apparent now. “Just what, [Name]? Have you come to pity me as well?” The blonde male clicks his tongue, a scowl appearing on his face after a few seconds. With clenched fists, he edges closer towards you, his facade disintegrating with every step he took, accentuating his more fragile state.

“Leave.”

Even as his words struck you harder than any other blows you've dealt in battle, you stood there, as calm and composed as you could be. You pry your stare away from the concrete, now confident enough to take your peer's ice cold optics.

“You're alive,” Almost appearing bittersweet, you force a smile, your tears slowly gliding down your reddened cheeks. Exhaling a deep breath of relief, you open your mouth once more to continue talking. “You're.. alive, Dimitri. And you've changed.”

For a quick second, you swore to the Gods you saw Dimitri's composure waver completely, but you pay no mind to it; settling for whatever expression he had evident on his face.

“And you disappeared,” He retaliates. Gradually, you notice the volume of his voice increasing; he was close to falling apart. Be that as it may, there was no ounce of judgment present in your mind. “Without even as much as a warning. You left me behind.” His lips quiver lightly. “Where have you been the last five years?”

You let your tears flow more freely now, wiping off the small smile that crawled onto your lips earlier. “Just.. scattered all over.”

He scoffs. You knew he resented you for leaving him all alone during the time that he needed your warmth the most. He had every right to; he had every right to direct his anger towards you. “I waited for you. You told me that day you'd head back to the kingdom. You told me you’d return to me.” He tries his hardest not to scream to avoid unnecessary attention, not in the mood to entertain any misplaced bandits nearby. “But you lied to me, [Name]. Although, I guess I was foolish enough to actually think that your words rang true.”

You desperately yearned to tell him that everything you've said in the past was the truth—but he wouldn't believe you even if you did. In all honesty, you found it hard to believe in whatever excuse you had prepared. But, still, you stood your ground; you let him vent his heart out to you, as you robbed him of that right by being absent for a long time. You knew, you knew, you knew—you heard about everything that's happened to the kingdom ever since Edelgard started the war. From carefree bystanders in the realm—from sick commoners in the heart of Fódlan, everyone spoke of the fallen prince.

You looked for him. The Gods know how long you've been looking for him. You tried heading back to the kingdom, but the Imperial army held onto them with a grasp so tight even you couldn't sneak inside. You tried, and you tried again, repeatedly, too, just to be able to see him again. Because you refused to believe that Dimitri gave up without a fight that easily. A part of you was confident enough that one day, you’d be able to locate him.

You knew him better than anyone, after all.

Now that he was in front of you—he still managed to take your breath away. Even as he yelled at you, his eyes held the same passion, the same level of fervor, mixed with a subtle touch of soft gentleness, visible only if you've paid close enough attention. His build was more tense, but you didn't blame him, as it was the effect of the war. His lips were pale, his hair reached his shoulders, and his voice was rough and spiritless—similar to a ghost, he became. It pained you to see him like this. Guilt, regret, hurt. As you continue to stare at him, everything comes crashing down on you; hitting you where it hurts the most.

Somehow, you wished things could go differently.

You wished for a place wherein the both of you ended up happy. Together. You wished for a place wherein his smile reigned eternal and his spirit never faltered.

But, alas, it was too good to be true.

“I'm sorry.” Your voice breaks midway. “I'm sorry. I know you needed me,” Another step forward. He flinches. The distance between the two of you shortened even more. In close proximity, you were able to read his emotions more clearly; even his eyes seemed to be more vivid that it used to be despite its intensity. “I'm here now. Please, just..”

You reach your hand out to caress his face carefully, feeling him tense under your touch, but soon easing into it. Dimitri lowers his head; now half-heartedly pulling you close, placing his forehead on your shoulder.

“I'm sorry, Dimitri, I'm sorry. I promise, I won't..” You wrap your arms around him, sobbing altogether. “I'll stay this time. Okay? I'll stay.”

Your shoulder pads were getting soaked with your companion's tears, but you chose not to do anything about it, only rubbing his back comfortingly to help ease away the pain even if it was only for a little while. Oh, how long you've waited for this day to come; for the day you reunited with the one you held dear the most, the one you held in high regards not just out of respect, but out of pure, genuine love as well.

All the pain that the both of you had to go through alone was beginning to subside the longer the two of you stayed together. And somehow, you knew, that in the end—everything will be alright.

 _Magnificent._

Upon first seeing Dimtri Alexandre Blaiddyd again after five long, insufferable years, that was the first word that popped inside your head—not breathtaking. Because even though he still takes your breath away and renders you speechless until this day, the word itself could not possibly capture the wonders of his being, and you’d realized that as you cradled him in your arms; with him being unafraid to be vulnerable and headstrong at the same time.

 _Magnificent, and breathtaking,_ still; he truly, truly was. Even if he convinced himself otherwise.


End file.
